“What if I’m not good enough?” he said last night, in not so many words.

I recognize and translate the other phrases, ones I whisper so often to myself:

• “What if it’s too hard?”
• “What if I don’t have the right resources, the right connections?”
• “What if I run out of time?”
• “What if no one else helps?”
• “What if they laugh at me or my idea?”
• “What if they ignore me?”
• “What if they don’t recognize the importance of this idea I hold so dear?”
• “What if I don’t reach the goal?”
• “What if I (gulp) fail?”
• “What if I get hurt?”

And I said what I would say to myself if I were as brave as I know he is in other moments, as brave as I often wish I was.

“Be fearless.
There is no such thing as failure.
If we try, we have won…
because so few would dare to do even that.”

As it escapes my lips, it resounds of a platitude and, to be honest, that’s not the whole truth:  there are two ways to try.

There are attempts restrained, suffocated by fear and worry. I will try, but will shield my attempt from scorn. Keep it quiet. Ask timidly. I will not push too hard, not rock too many boats. I will imagine that the answer will be “no” so I can avoid making the risky asks. I will find others to blame because they were unwilling to help. Then, if it fails, I am safe. I retain plausible deniability.

These attempts sometimes win, but rarely big. They may find success, but they are not game changers. They are safe.

Then there are fearless, bold, epic attempts. Bet it all. Double down. Go big.   These attempts are as audacious as a woman who believed that the money she made selling chickens would be enough to build the school that will transform her community.

Neither will these attempts always succeed. People who make these types of attempts stand to lose big, and publicly.

But they are also the only ones who will ever change the world.

“You are more than good enough,” I said last night, in not so many words, “but will you be fearless enough to let the whole world see?”

I wonder if I was speaking to him or to me…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Excerpted from Marianne Williamson, Return to Love

Photo by Patience Salgado, @kindnessgirl, at a recent Epic Change strategic planning event where the most fearless people I’ve ever met gathered to dream big.